Chapter News

TLH-MGA MGAWC 22 recap

by JSG

Call me Fuck Machine.

(Thank you Mike [Boston], Tim [Cincinnati], and Ryan [ABQ] for the moniker from my first MGAWC 5-6 years ago)

This is story about Dan, Tallahassee, best friends, and rosé told from the perspective of the overnight leader turned caddie who had a front row seat to see it all happen.


No practice round for TLH MGA. It is Bob’s 50th on Monday and he wants to go to Top Golf, so to Top Golf we go. After some food, beverages, and general tomfoolery, we decide to gamble on a couple of games and I’m pretty sure I’ve found something good. Maybe something that can help Tallahassee win a Chapter Cup. This makes total sense to my golf brain. My logical brain is thinking that hitting golf balls off a mat on the 3rd floor next to a group of strippers is an unlikely place to find a groove.

Later than night, we head to the opening ceremony catch up with medios we have met over the years and some new ones we have met for the first time. Dan and Boom Boom make it just in for Dan to show El Presidente his new shirt.


I was on the Concord course as were fellow TLH MGAers Ian, Daryl, and Pete while Bob, Dan, and Bill were on Lexington. Jenn Ben, Boom Boom, and Johnny Cakes were representing TLH MGA at the Born Hairy.

It was a cold and windy day. Cold or windy is manageable, but cold and windy will hurt your feelings - especially the last few holes as the sun was going down. I had a wonderful group, and we really enjoyed our 6.5 hours together. Played well and I was excited to catch up with the rest of the Tallahassee crew and hopefully hear some good news. Nothing bad from the team, most in the 95-96 range after strokes. We wouldn’t be in the lead, but we should be in striking distance.

After a long, hot shower to warm up and some gambling, we head to The D for an 830 dinner at Andiamo. We found some horse racing where Boom Boom hit a 113-1 bet and I snuck off to Bar Canada to watch the Timberwolves for the few minutes before dinner when we get a message from KG on the group chat. It’s the overall standings and there is a recognizable name at the top. It’s me.

We head to dinner and this one of the best parts of this trip. A chance to catch up with everyone, trade stories, answer the “what was your favorite shot of the day?” question, and just slow down and enjoy the company.


The courses flip, the sun is out, and the winds have slowed down. Not a hot day, but at least it wasn’t as cold. Pairings are based on Round 1 scores, so I am going off Hole 1 on Lexington. Lex has always been tough for me but ground out a 90 (+4), but that wasn’t going to be enough as Tim from Cleveland got me by 1.

I started checking in with the other TLH medios, Ian shot an 82 (+7) and Daryl shot an 84 (+5) and conversations revolve around a respectable finish until we Dan tells us he shot a net 83. Dan mentions he may try to get on the bus, until our train driving Chapter Leader and I start doing some math. That number is strong so let’s keep the clubs out in case of a playoff. Minutes later, it is confirmed. Dan from Tallahassee and Miguel from Phoenix will be in a playoff for the belt.

“I gotta go pee,” said Dan upon learning about the playoff.

I was asked to caddie and before we knew it Dan and I were driving to the 18th tee with Co-Founder Willie Dills on back of the cart.

*From here, I will be telling the story as best as I can, but I cannot be sure what was going on in Dan’s head. For information on that, check out an upcoming episode of the Mediocre Happy Hour hosted by Dan and his brother, Joe*

Miguel wins the chapstick toss to determine honors and he hits his drive a bit right, but playable.

I recommended that Dan should “hit it right up the dick” and he did better than that. Dan hit a laser right down the middle and long (Dan would later say this was his favorite shot of the playoff).
Dan is in position A, but still a lot of golf to play.

Miguel is up. He matriculates the ball down the course but isn’t in a great place.

I take the range finder and shoot 118 to the pin. It’s uphill and it has cooled down a bit so I told Dan to play it 130. Dan puts a good swing on it. We hear a roar. Dan’s got a birdie putt.

Miguel hits his third shot just over the green but then hits a wonderful chip. He’s laying four, but a fairly short putt for 5.

Dan is looking at two putts for the win but he has 60 feet to go with some right to left with a hump that he has to get over. First putt is solid – but Dan has some work to do.

9.4 feet for a World Title.

I think I have a good read on it, but I’m not the one hitting the putt.

“Do you like it, Dan?”


I am not shy about sharing my opinion. but he likes it, so it’s time to shut the fuck up.

Down the hill. Curls left at the end. Bottoms.

The thing was good as soon as he hit it.

The fucking World Champ lives in Tallahassee.

You know what that means? Rosé chin drops. We are bringing a Tallahassee tradition to the world.

While we bus back, Jen Benn and Boom Boom find 10 bottles. We are all going to the do the rosé chug with Dan and perhaps we get some good news on the Chapter Cup.

At the awards ceremony, our own Johnny Cakes wins biggest meltdown at the Born Hairy. The meltdown is a crowd favorite. Cakes is minor celebrity.

I get a check for T-4 and now its time for the top 5 of Chapter Cup.

It didn’t truly hit me until San Francisco was announced as second place.

“For first place, let’s go through their three hero’s scores,” Morley said. With a 185 (didn’t Daryl shoot a 185? I thought), Daryl Rudell.

With a 180, Joey St. Germain.

With a 178, Lord Daniel Piotrowski.

The fucking Chapter Cup lives in Tallahassee. (plus, a new hat!)

Now it is the main event, time to put a belt on the champ.

Lord Dan is belted. He’s now in MGA folklore.

El Presidente begins to realize that he may have neglected his best friend, but yet Dan perseveres.

Only one thing left to do, chug some rosé.

10 Tallahassee medios, chugging 10 bottles of rosé, 10 rosé chin drips.

Dan poured some on his head, I had a rosé river down my shirt, Pete chugged the whole bottle cleanly because he’s the rosé goat.

(For video, head to @tlhmga on Instagram)

The Aftermath

This matters to us. We cherish our little corner of the MGA created in San Francisco, led by El President and Dills, and nourished by countless medios who were playing in the league years before our chapter started in 2014.

In our first few years at the WC, we would have conversations on what it must be like to go sleep on Friday with the lead or dreams of a Top 5 in the Chapter Cup.

Now, we are the best fucking MGA Chapter in the World. And we have the rosé hangover to prove it.

As for the new World Champ, Lord Dan. He is the best of us.

Kind and authentic. I love how he approaches the world with a genuine curiosity and finds joy in what he does. If you need help, he’s got you – we will just have to make sure it doesn’t interfere with picking up the kids from swim practice.

When he commits to the bit, he jumps all the way in. Just ask his best friend Jon Morley.

It’s been fun watching his growth as a golfer. He just keeps getting better and those bad rounds just don’t bother him. Ever.

Last year, in his first real opportunity to win a tournament he took a triple bogey, 8, on the last hole to miss out on a playoff by 1. The next tournament he made a big putt on 18 to force a playoff and ultimately win his first tournament. Now, Dan Piotrowski is the World Champ. (Dan – I know you are reading this, read that last sentence again)

I think you are going to like him as the champ.

As for me, you will see me back at the WC next year – your friendly neighborhood Fuck Machine.

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Panel Of Experts (1)


Well done, JSG!