Chapter News

Perth Rebel Beach Am-Am (AKA: Kingston Beach Am-Am)


There was an unusual feeling of seriousness at this tournament, with an eerie lack of tomfoolery for a Perth tournament. This is most likely the reason players were scoring far lower than average.

The 2013 Perth MGA season started off with newbies taking home their first ever MGA tournament win. Brothers Rhys & Luke Germaney banded together to make the ‘Brothers of Power’ team and blitzed the competition. New to the competition, we’ve given them a few graces, as the overall winner, Rhys, was drinking mid-strength beer. Next time, we will be adding penalty strokes for every mid-strength drunk. There is nothing new about two brothers winning a team event in the Southern Hemisphere, in fact this has been the result at the Historic Kingston Beach Am-Am every year since its official opening in 1922. We will elaborate on this further in our next article.
Karl & Col had a mixed day. With Karl's drive landing 20 yards short of ladies tee on the 14th hole and then taking a swing at his golf cart destroying the front wheel to end with a total of 120, to Col becoming the ‘new’ face of Export and surprisingly scoring 100, they teamed up to earn the position of NOT THE WINNERS! but were without a shadow of doubt the best dressed team on the course.
Team Mortar Fire At Ramdom Strangers - Hally nearly scored the shot of the day when his ball from two fairways over narrowly missed a lady who was getting ready to tee off. She was NOT amused. Five seconds later Brown Baron (who was one fairway over) threw his club in disgust and almost hitting one member of the Perth MGA media crew. The lady and her partner were then too scared to say anything after that. Drewboy played really well, scoring 100 – nearly cracking into the double digit region. He had mixed emotions with this score, being his best ever, though not quite making into the 90s.
The Specials - After a year off the golf course, the Brown Baron showed us what a year off can do for your game… Fuck all… This is the first full year that Damo will be playing. Completely ignoring the Country Club's dress code he started off the season the best way possible… Mediocre!
The McGs - Brad McGrath – first ever indigenous Australian to grace a golf course only decided to put his game face on at the 17th hole once he realised there was a trophy involved. Next time we will be putting the trophy on a stick on the golf cart ahead of him so he can chase it around trying to play better. Gaz McGarry tried sprucing up his game by sporting a new hairstyle best described as a "Lesbian Donald Trump"… and it worked! Gaz ended up shooting a 93 taking a massive 21 strokes off his lowest tournament score to date, but unfortunately it only got him second place… and he did get the unbelievably awesome longest drive.
Old's-Cool Vandals - Trent Moody (who looks remarkably like Warren Fitzgerald/Cake Boy) won the most prestigious mediocre ‘M’. Trent decided to follow Gaz’s lead and hive himself a haircut before the game. Although he thought by removing his eyebrows would give him an aerodynamic edge over his opposition, it only helped him earn a most Mediocre award.. and looking like Warren Fitzgerald is not a bad thing either. Oldzkool played… averagely. With his ‘special’ game face, Oldzkool was in for an interesting day. Once Oldzkool warms up into a few tournaments, he will dominate be better (possibly).
In honour of the two headed trophy, Dogwalker & Disco wore a two headed Tasmanian Devil football team logo. Disco and Luke both played incredibly well (don't laugh) but with new competition from the Germaney brothers this effort was almost pointless.
Late - Leigh & BJ. This team turned up so late that they were lucky to be allowed on the course at all and had to play several groups behind the rest of the MGA field. In fact they also played so poorly that they shouldn't even get a mention… but we love them so we will mention them…See? We just mentioned them.

« Back to News

Panel Of Experts (4)


Ozzys are not right in the head it seems. Looks like a good time.

Yep.... You are correct.

Solid rule re mid strength there McBride.

Yep, no kidding Ben, I hadn't noticed he was being a sneaky mid drinker until looking through the photos, that bullshit has gotta stop.