Mga News

MGA Bans Alcohol From All Events

APRIL FOOLS!

 

THE INTERNET - On March 17th, San Francisco became the first city in the US to order all residents to shelter-in-place. As a result, El Presidente had a lot of time on his hands and used it to do some soul searching. 

“I’ve been doing this juice cleanse while I’ve been trapped at home,” El Presidente said from his San Francisco apartment (aka MGAWHQ). “It’s changed my whole perspective on things. Well, if I’m being honest, the mushrooms probably had something to do with it too.”

El Presidentesattva, as he’ll now be known, has decided that when the MGA season finally gets going in earnest, alcohol will no longer be allowed at any MGA events.

“For years, The MGA and its members have been known for their unique ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol and eventually complete a round of golf while having a blast with their friends,” El Presidentesattva said. “As of April 1st though, I’m proud to say we will be known for something totally different. The MGA will now be known for its non-existent bar tabs, quiet orderly golf and a total lack of any actions that might challenge the status quo.”

The updated rulebook.

 

El Presidentesattva has instructed his Chapter Leaders to immediately collect all of their member’s alcohol and send it to MGAWHQ for disposal.

 

“I will personally take it upon myself to rid you of this poison,” El Presidentesattva slurred from his throne. “I’m halfway through disposing of mine already."

 

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Comments

April Fools!

Bravo!!! As anyone who has ever had the misfortune of being paired up with me will tell you, I have long been a proponent of abstinence when it comes to alcohol. Golf is, after all, a game of honor, tradition and class. How is anyone expected to live up to those expectations while they are under the influence I ask you. Hats off to El Prez for having the foresight to take this much needed step, which, I predict, will be met with approval and applause from the rank and file of the MGA. Well done Sir!!!

of course Yellowknife MGA would have poster boys for the ban! love it!

Well, Its about god damn time! I am sure my handicap will decrease with a long awaited sobriety! Other than brewing his own beer in his basement, my chapter leader Andy Arnone, has been preaching sobriety for years! Thanks El Presidentesattva ! Quick question. Is beer considered alcohol..??

15th day in self isolation and it’s like MGAWC Vegas in my house. We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is.

I am having no luck collecting our chapters alcohol. I don't like being yelled at chased with shotguns.

Fine with me. I'm all bout dat stuff you can huff.