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IEMGA Season Recap 2019

The end of one season and the start of another lead us on a winding trek out to Borrego Springs, CA to... treat-yo-self ... at the lush oasis that is Rams Hill.

IEMGA Rookie Medio Shane Wells wins the CML amidst some Mediocre competition, and other Medios do stuff and get recognized for it... kinda.

And 7 IE Medios take on Revere Golf Club and the Mediocre World at MGAWC'19  


Inland Empire, CA-  One week after our season officially wrapped up at The Last Gasp, a dozen or so Medios and a handful of guests made the approximate 2 hour trek out to Rams Hill. Due to the remoteness of the course and harsh summer season, it was actually their opening weekend and the earliest in years apparently. The course thrives from November through June but conditions were in "mid-season form" so-to-say with no "slump" in sight.  

I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about the course but everyone was super impressed... and I mean everyone. For a few of us it was viewed as flat out, the Best Course We Have Ever Played. Just an impeccably designed oasis that was thankfully revived from extinction as recently as five years ago. It's really amazing what they've done. Even our regular Haters had trouble hatin' on anything. Unfortunately all too often at courses on this level the staff comes off as pretentious and unwelcoming and you can sometimes start to feel like they view you simply as a walking cash cow they need to milk (sorry y'all... this udder's dry) 

Anyways, pardon the analogy but point is we got none of that at Rams Hill. From the guys in the Pro Shop to the cart attendants, the bartenders and waitstaff, and even the Taco Guy who had Free Tacos on 14 (Thank You!!!) everyone was super welcoming and at least seemed genuinely interested in their guests having a great time. If you have the ability, I would highly recommend making the trip out there. I know I sure plan on returning.... anyways, The "Youngest Medio in the MGA" Rockin Ryan Kelly kicked just about everyone's ass with a blistering 82 from the Blue equivilent Tees. He crushed the driver, hit approach shots, chipped well, and drained putts... just about the complete game. The rest of the field was all over the place but Medio Jason "Jmoney" Moyer's father guested and did have an Eagle hole-out from the fairway which was pretty exciting. Otherwise you can look back on Instagram @iemga for some more course pics but for here, on with the awards! 


Ryan's round at Rams Hill really reinforced why he was picked for this award, if there even was any doubt in anyone's mind, which I doubt. Prior to this season, Ryan had carded 14 tournament rounds with ONLY ONE of those rounds being UNDER 100. He even had a 120+ round sprinkled in each year. But for a Medio who won the first two Red Key's in our Chapter History to go out and shoot an 87 to Win the Big Check at the Am-Am was nothing short of one of the most suprising things that has ever happened in the IEMGA. But after two more Top 10's to follow and his 2nd Big Check of the Year (and life) at the F.U. Open, our Medios had to come to terms that "The Youngest Medio in the MGA" could actually win the Chapter Money List (CML). And although when put in the "premiuim group" at The Bratish (Groups were based on CML) he collapsed under the pressure to the tune of 111 (albeit from the Blue Tees), he rebounded at The Fore! to keep his CML dream alive. Then at the DBag, he carded a 16 on the first hole and battled to recover but ended up walking away with his 1st Red Key since his Rookie Season. Now heading into The Last Gasp sitting at 2nd on the CML and holding the Red Key is something I dare say does not happen often, if ever before in the MGA. He came out and gave it a real run with an 88 but as he now carries strokes, he ended in a tie with Shane Wells and had to settle for 2nd place on the season. Still... great year dude, we couldn't be prouder.  


Rookie Medio, Shane "Mr Consistent" Wells only got this nickname because of his Extremely Regular Mediocre Play, and as it's gotta be the most boring, unimaginative nickname I have ever come up with so he will be hereby and forever known as "The Champ". No matter how you regress or improve, only to regress again, no one will be able to take away from you that in 2019, you beat 44 other Mediocre Golfers over the course of a full season. It means about as much or as  little as you want it to mean, but you're now part of a history that only Fight Club type destruction can bring down. 7 out of 8 tourneys attended netted you 6 Top 5's including the aforementioned Win at The Bastards. Really solid play from our unassuming Champion... Long May He Reign.   


The IEMGA has never handed out a R.O.Y. award mainly because everyone was a rookie in '17, and we had so many strong rookies in '18 including our CML Champion that it seemed unneccessary to give Tommy Gun another award he'd probably just leave at the clubhouse anyways. But in 2019 after some strong lobbying from at least one Medio, I've decided to award one cause... why the hell not?! So while Shane "The Champ" Wells won the CML in his Rookie Year, and Mike "The Bridesmaid" Archer had 3 2nd place finishes, it was his childhood buddy John "Livewire" Dapsis who made a strong enough case that he should've won it that he now has. He was the only Rookie Medio to attend 8 of 8 tourneys and had 4 Top 3 finishes and an additional 4th place to finish at 4th on the CML. Really strong season dude. Dapsis, Archer, and Neil "007" Ashworth round out the Top Medios to watch heading into 2020 looking for their first Big Check.  


I just couldn't pick one.... sometimes our Mediocrity runs so deep, it's just too hard to decide who's failures are most worth highlighting. Until someone does something that says, ya he's the one, no question. Thankfully that happened at the last possible chance cause no one likes a tie...  

OG IEMGA Medio Brian Carson was a bit of a suprise finish in the Top 10 CML in 2018. His Red Key to Big Check at the '18 DBag was the high point in a season that he was recognized as an honorable mention for Most Improved Medio of the year. An award that he lost out to Chris "Mediocre Tiger" Garcia. Well one year later and some things never change as much as they do. Brian's first half of the 2019 season netted him $0.00 while playing in 4 of 4 tourneys. He was able to grind out a 10th, 11th, & a 12th before he had to skip the Last Gasp to rack up $0.33 on the season but the impression was already made. Whether it was Unimprovement or simply a return to true form, his 2019 season was definitely one to put behind him. And just as he missed out on Most Improved to Tiger, he will do the same and settle for a dishonorable mention for Most Unimproved and cede the title to... you guessed it, Chris "Mediocre Tiger" Garcia.

From Mediocre Golfer of the Year in '17 to Most Improved in '18, Chris has now run the gamut of Mediocrity with winning Most Unimproved Medio of 2019. Ya he still finished in a respectable 14th place on the CML in a fairly competitive chapter, But considering he had never finished outside of the Top 10 in any single tournament in our history, his 12th place to start the year at the AM-AM turned out to be writing on the wall, although none of us could read it at the time. He really didn't play all that bad outside of his 106 at The MGA but he had set the bar so high the previous year that the only way he could up it was by winning the CML which he didn't even sniff at all season. The icing on the shit sandwich that was his 2019 was his performance in Round 1 at worlds (spoiler alert) where he dropped a 109 and was our only Medio unable to officially card a two round total becasue he wasn't "qualified" and didn't make the LO-IQ cut. But he ain't going anywhere and despite his regression this season, he holds an IEMGA record that NO ONE, NOT EVEN CL Jstar can match... MEDIOCRE TIGER has not only attended every tournament in our history, but he has CASHED in EVERY TOURNEY he has EVER PLAYED IN... well, accept for MGAWC. 



Ya Ricky dropped a big number on Indian Hills but to be fair he gave up on the round like never before or since and it really shouldn't have been nearly that high, especially since the rarely if ever used "10 and done" rule was instituted for high handicappers. Either way he got a dishonable mention for his lack of efforts and that was that. But he also carded his lowest tournament round ever (104) and finished in the money for the first time since we've had over 16 "golfers", so it wasn't all bad for him this season.

"Screw You" Kyle Rossi on the other hand, took his game to a place 97% of us could not believe it could've gone to (Tim probably saw it coming). As this OG was only able to make it to two tourneys all season (and only finish one) I won't spend too much time here, but all you gotta know is his last carded round of 2018 was a 72... that's right, AN EVEN PAR SEVENTY-FREAKIN-TWO. After his DNF at the AM-AM that was probably at least 60% former IE Medio Ryan Konkler's fault, he had no one to blame but himself for what happened at The Bastards. Well, there may have been some beverages to blame, and the egging on of his friendly yet sabatouer playing partners, but to go from a 72 to a 133 in back to back completed rounds is unheard of under any circumstances.... and he still didn't win the Red Key... hahahaha.... Oh Kyle, please come back, you got alot more golf left in ya now that you're back on solid ground. Cheers Buddy.     


I literally drew a blank prior and heading into awards at the Last Gasp. I had nothing written down for this award other than "poll the audience". Many of us had personal highlights but No Aces from Wild Turkey for the first time in the last two years, and no DQ's from Kyle or anyone else all season. But at the Last Gasp we finally had our 1st... and 2nd DQ's of 2019, and just like last year, one of them got overshadowed. Dave "D.Y." Young has been one of our top Medios ever since he joined and won his first tournament. So it wasn't a suprise to see him finally DQ with a 79 but glad he finally has that badge to go with his above average game. And of course someone had to one up him and this year it was none other than Mr. 14th place at MGAWC18, Eric "Bear" Matteson who shot a lifetime best 75 to DQ for his first time ever and win this years award. Although I didn't mention it earlier, he also won an honorable mention for Most Improved Medio of the Year for setting the bar high at Worlds and actually living up to it by getting his first chapter win at The MGA and even despite his DQ at the Last Gasp, he still finished in the TOP 10 on the CML. Congrats Dude!  


I'm just gonna rewrite what I can piece together of my speech at the Last Gasp to announce this years winner...

"What does it mean to be a Mediocre Golfer? Well, your score, ya... The MGA defines Mediocre Golf as being Bogey Golf, but at least half of us on any given Saturday, like this one, would be pretty stoked to card a 90. So maybe here in the IE we've somehow managed to even lower the bar for what being Mediocre is with this pick. But as far as our chapter goes the score of 100 is usually pretty close to the Mediocre line and the middle of the pack, which is where you will regularly find this years winner... So what else sets him apart? Does he dress for themed tourneys? Well... sometimes... sorta.... Is he enthusiastic about the iemga and regularly spread stories about usually having a kinda good time? Ummm... some... a lil .... no, no, not really... Does He at least Love the game of Golf and strive to be better?! Ummm... definitely not... he kinda likes it, but his game is what it is... So without further ado... You know him to be Up and Down, but that has somehow landed him in the dead middle of the 2019 CML... I give you, your 2019 MEDIOCRE GOLFER OF THE YEAR... my brother, Jeff "Wild Turkey" Olson!!!!!  (with a look of total suprise on his face that was priceless)  Congrats on your Free 2020 IEMGA Membership.    


After a strong showing at MGAWC18 with a Team of 10, and a Top 10 placing in the Chapters Cup, and a Medio Cashing in the Top 16 overall... Expectations were a bit high heading into this year's World Championship.  Although we only brought 7 Medios to Las Vegas this year, our team was probably slightly stronger Top to Bottom with no glaring weaknesses. Mediocre Tiger was the only one of the group who wasn't already qualified by either getting a Win or Finishing Top 10 in the CML, but we had little doubts he would play through the LO-IQ without incident. Well, as you already know, that didn't happen and most of the rest of our crew didn't fare much better. I have already brought shame to our group by posting our individual scores on Instagram @iemga so I don't see a reason to drop this bucket into a dry well once more but if you really care or want some shit talking ammunition for next year you can find them on our page under our team pic. Collectively we finished a disappointing 20th out of 35th Chapters who qualified (Top 3 two-day individual totals from team) as we only had one Medio finish in the Top 100 overall. Our highest rank Medio by the CML finished worst in our group... way to go Waldo!!!     

But there was one in the Top 100....

And this time that one was ME. Your Chapter Leader played his ass off with a level of determination to win his group...each day... that he totally forgot he had. I'm not saying I don't try to win at our local tourneys, I definitely do... but this was really another level, I can't fully describe it.  After starting out Day 1- Double, Quad, Triple Bogey... FML...I mean...seriously!!!!...anyways at that point in the round, I as many other Medios, were faced with two choices... Holler at the Cart Girl for a few rounds of body shots and a sixer to get us through the front 9.... or chill the fuck out and have just a few drinks and a smoke and remember it's just another round of golf. So for a change after a start like that I chose the latter and rattled off something like 7 Bogeys & 5 Pars and kept myself in the ballpark of the belt with a 94. But back in the clubhouse, Scott Sanders of SFMGA had shot the round of his life and was leading with an 82 (+0) so as I was 12 strokes back and sitting in like a 10 way tie for 60th, there was no question in my mind that I was just playing for our team score day 2. And when "Dr Bob" came in with an 85 (gross) and Neil a respectable 96, I felt like we still had a chance to crack Top 5 Chapters Cup... So maybe that's what motivated me to level-up on Day 2... You Guys.... Awwwwww.... Wouldn't that be sweet if it was true.... hahahaha...  

So Day 2 I came out feeling good, with at least 2 more hours sleep... no... more like rest.... than the night prior, and was stoked to see I was paired with the CL of the Spring Hill Chapter, The Padre Himself, Pete Bedell. I met Pete my first year at worlds in '17 and instantly liked the guy... I can't even tell you why, I pretty much liked everyone that year...hahaha... as of course I still do in '19 .... (wink).... anyways, early in the round I told Pete he was my Muse and he was gonna will me to victory! Definitely outta character for me, I dunno where it came from... just had a feeling... Well Pete chipped in blind from a bunker on Concord 10 after making the honest call about a lost ball that was later found but had already made decision to drop .... all u gotta know is the golf gods occasionally reward blessed acts so own your scores mutha fuckas... 

So I felt good at the start... and then... DOUBLE DOUBLE TRIPLE BOGEY START.... WTF ?!!!!!!!!!...AHHHHHHHHHH....  hahahaha... but hey, I did it yesterday, and actually a little less of a failure today... so why not play a lil better today as well... So what'd I do?... Crushed the Big Stick and almost had an MALBATROSS... Settled for a MEAGLE and added 2 others for a final round of 88. I actually just missed a chip in on our last hole that would've been my 4th Birdie of the day and would've vaulted me a few more spots on the final leaderboard, but most importantly, One Stroke Ahead of 2018 Low Gross Winner LAMGA CL Freddy Fox Smilow. Instead it hit the pin and lipped to 4 feet and I two putted from there and he Beat Me by ONE. But aside all of that....      

I finished 15th outta 288 Medios... Pretty Nucking Futts for me... I mean, I'm allright on occasion, I shot 79 once... and an 84 at our Last Gasp... But more often I tell a new group I'm playing with "I'm usually good for one amazing shot a round... but you're probably gonna wanna look away from alot of bad shots to get there"... well I didn't have nearly as many awful shots as normal and coupled with some good misses, I was able to minimize my mistakes. And I only lost one ball in two rounds of play, on a course known for eating more golf balls than the Cookie Monster cookies... (I'm a dad, wtf do u want? This is my life)... 

So I guess for now, for our 2019 season, it's time to say farewell... We lost 14 Medios and Gained 15 (although a couple of those new Medios never showed up once)... so either way we ended at 45 Members, one more than last year. I'm not calling for a recruiting push, God knows I have lil aspiration to hit 120 like North Dallas or even 80+ like Las Vegas MGA... but if we could hit 50 while still averaging 28-36 each tourney, that would be pretty cool for 2020. Anyways, I'll be in touch through email prior to the New Season starting Online around January 6th, so I hope to see y'all back next season along with a few new faces. We'll have a few offseason events on the calendar as soon as the league year resets so look out for them and a new schedule coming soon. Thanks to all of you for being a part of this, it's been another kinda good season, enjoy your time off and the holidays... Until next year ... CHEERS !!!!