Chapter News

This is How Legends are Made

So... Here's the thing...

I know it's supposed to be all about the Winner... and the story of this years FU Open Champion is no Page 2 material.  I'm telling you, Jim Nantz would be milking this green room interview for all it's worth and then some. People would be moved.  But he is not me, and I dare not share... all of the trials, tribulations, plagues and famine, that this kid's golf game has endured to get to where he is today.  I want to tell you part of his story... but just not yet... because something else happened that refuses to be ignored and proves to me yet again, that... wait for it.... It's Not All About Winning, It's How You Play The Game... Bombshell.

Wait... is this China? I hear thats a big thing in chinese sports... This isn't China, This is 'Merica... and the F.U. Open of all tourneys!!! What do you mean it's not all about winning?!!! What are you? A Communist?!!! 


While June Gloom may be a bummer at the beach, it's a blessing in the IE, as any brief relief from the impending heat of summer is a welcome respite. And as it so happened to be, it was on such a morning, as the shy sun peeked out and the clinging clouds climbed up the crevases of our local mountains and parted ways with the valley floor to reveal the shadow of a giant... a man who's stature beckoned calls to local fairy tale spinsters to identify what sort of matter of beast we had encountered. Sometimes Myth becomes Legend, and other times Legends are Real... this my friends is a story of the latter.

As the story goes... two of our Medios made a friendly bet on a meaningless baseball series between their respective rival teams. Ricky Dick's A's bested Tim Min's Angels and the result was Tim was to play the entire FU Open with a Child's Putter.  In response, maybe out of loyalty to his team, but more likely just out of sheer braggarty, Tim made the claim that he could still beat Ricky by over 20 strokes all while using Jekyl the mini putter, and with Ricky on the Red Tees! Never one to back down from a bet, Ricky accepted the challenge and the rest is now truly memorable history.        

Now having a 20 stroke cushion gave Ricky plenty of breathing room on the front 9. And even though he was battling through a tough start, Tim had troubles of his own... 

And was still trying to cope with this... 

But as many a Medio knows, the Back 9 can be prone to Meltdowns. And even though General Old is typically a pretty forgiving course with multiple parallel fairways... when you refuse to play it safe in any instance imaginable, as Ricky Dick typically rolls, well, trouble can find you. 

But credit to where it's due, Ricky scrambled around adaquately and actually scored miles better on the back 9. But even still, come their 18th hole together they were all square on the bet. Tim was up 1st and got ahold of one, but it sliced off hard into the dirt. So you're saying there's a chance.... With a glimmer of hope in Ricky's black doll eyes, he stepped up to the tee and an exhuberant hush fell over the group. One witness described what happened next with a level of descriptive grace and ellegence that I could surely not best....

"Well, he basically shit the bed off the tee and that was all she wrote"

- Tim Minamyer  

With his battle vs Ricky won, news slowly spread that Ricky would be sporting a full Angels jersey at a tournament in the near future... I can almost picture the shame... 

But the real icing on the Legend Cake that is Tim Cup is, after all of the scores were added up, he pulled off an improbable 90 (gross&net) with Jekyl the mini putter (which I hear apparently he's considering a permanant change to..) and ended up in 2nd place outright! So not only did he beat Ricky, but also 24 other Medios that had many excuses, yet none of them realistically valid, other than "Hey, I suck, whattdya want from me?".  So although Tim's quest to become the 1st IEMGA Medio to be halfway to a Mrand Slam fell just short, he has for the third year in a row served as the focal point in our chapters rich 'storic lore. Just like Roy's 12, We remember your 19 Tim, and your club stealing battle at Canyon Lake. Now I'm off to find a cave wall to carve this story down, so if a fight club like ending ever comes to civilization, new generations emerging from the rubble will have a legend to inspire them.   

Ricky Dick unfortunately couldn't stick around to pass off the Red Key but Rookie Medio Rick Diaz took it over graciously and in good spirits...  

As I found out during the round, Die - Azz (as Rainey says) is pretty brand new to the game, but took to it immediately and has been grinding almost daily ever since. He's just at that point that all golfers reach eventually when you say to yourself... Why aren't I better?! I feel ya dude... I ask myself the same thing all the time... I mean... there's no goalie (well the pin) or defenders (well, sand, bunkers, rough, TREES...)  or distractions (haha ya right) .... so why can't I just put the ball in the hole in less than 6 strokes every freaking time?!!! Ahhhhh... this fucking game, right?! 

Published images of mythical beasts are often fractured and blurry, over or under lit, and it's contents well open to interpretation. A simple suggestion to an impressionable mind can often result in a lifelong impact on the viewer....What is that... a Sasquatch? Yeti? Wait.. Is that really Bigfoot? Have they finally found unrefutable photogenic eveidence?!!!  And if so... what the hell is he doing at a military course in Southern California?  No, it's not Bigfoot although I can see the resemblence....  

My brother Jeff "Wild Turkey" Olson and I, have an ongoing discussion usually a few days prior to any given tournament on how many Medios will break 100 this month... And the question always is, Over or Under Half? And historically it's been about 50/50 for our chapter so it has remained an interesting talking point over the past three seasons. Sometimes we actually agree while other times it's polar opposites. For the FU Open we were both pretty close in our assesment but as we left it, he choose the Under while I leaned towards the Over. As it turned out, Wild Turkey finished at 99 and exactly on the Mediocre line in 13th. So I guess this time we push.... congrats on your mediocrity.

Speaking of family, Jeff and I's Father was able to join up with us for the first time in a tourney and took home an honorary blank check made out to $0.00 for hacking it up with us. I'm usually so scatter brained during awards and wrap up that I don't always get out what I want to but I will say this to you now... Years from now (some less than others, wink, wink) If you are ever so lucky to find yourself in relatively good health and on a golf course at 78 years old, try to think back to this article in some decrepit corner of your mind and remember that no matter how bad you may be playing that day... this game has given you more joy than sorrow, and its about so much more than what your score is. Cheers Pops!     

And what do I say about our Champion? The Medio formally known as Ryan "Red Key" Kelly, has been Rockin' all season but this win has vaulted him into the eschelon of someone to actually be reckoned with. His first win at the Am-Am almost seemed like a fluke, even though we've all seen him improving over the past 3 years. I even believe I called his win way back in 2017... but to be perfectly honest, I don't know that I even believed myself. I think it was probably more like 99% encouragement from an Uncle to his Nephew and 1% incredible forsight that saw something in his game that would one day translate to multiple victories. Any way you cut it, Rockin Ryan sits atop the CML for the 1st time ever, and for a brief second was even at 7th in the GML out of 1,821 Medios. Being witness to his slow progression and the culmination of efforts expended actually leading to victory has been one of the true joys I've had since founding this chapter. Huge congrats dude, I couldn't be prouder.... now stop kickin our ass!

Another Medio looking to do some ass kickin is Rookie Krista McPherson. After a long absence from the game, She's already shaving strokes off her rounds and don't be suprised when she soon becomes our 1st female Medio to break 100. OG and newly returned Medio Alex Rainey hit a bomb of epic proportions on the Kinda Long Drive Hole (Video soon upcoming on Instagram @iemga) only to find out Krista had still outdrove him by probably 20 yards... His sheer devestation was exacerbated by Rookie Medios Layne & Diaz as they found great joy in pointing out his best drive couldn't beat a girl... But in the end Ryan "RPD" Davis launched one past Krista's and brought home what is I believe his 1st Kinda Long.... but don't check me on that... He might've won one last tournament also... hahaha...     

And last but far from least, We sent our 2018 MGAWC Spirit Animal, Gil "Gilbo Baggins", to compete in the West Valley AZ FU Open and see if he could steal some imaginary or real money from those desert folk. Well a 107 and T-22nd probably didn't pay for his trip but from the extensive amount of pictures he sent me, I'm pretty sure it wasn't about that.  

Event Results

1.Rockin Ryan 87$1.35
2.Tim Minamyer90$0.90
3.Shane Wells91$0.71
3.John Dapsis 91$0.71
5.Ryan Davis92$0.60
6.Jason Moyer93$0.53
7.Devin Hundley94$0.41
7.Josh Olson94$0.41
9.Christopher Garcia95$0.26
9.Neil Ashworth95$0.26
11.Dave Young96$0.15
12.Alex Rainey97$0.08
13.Jeff Olson99$0.07
14.Graham Shelton100$0.05
14.Josh Schuler100$0.05
16.Colin Lawrence101$0.02
17.Lawrence Kelly103$0.00
17.Tom O'LEARY103$0.00
19.Brian Carson104$0.00
19.Steve Woodland104$0.00
21.Krista McPherson109$0.00
21.Layne Dougherty109$0.00
21.Brian Whitworth109$0.00
24.Richard Dunham115$0.00
25.Michael Lai120$0.00
26.Rick Diaz 127$0.00