Chapter News

The Hat Trick

Hello friends and welcome to another Bastards recap with your favorite host, Jim Nance. A drizzly April Saturday begins our tradition unlike any other at the Indian Canyon Golf Club. Bright and early, we began with the former champions Breakfast hosted by last years' winner (AB) which featured a delectable menu of Bloody Mary's, Bacon Sandwiches and Canadian Whiskey. Another story begins to write itself as our contenders found their way to the driving range - rain gear in hand. 

With hole one framed by towering pines, drives took shape to begin our annual tournament on the hill. We immediately found ourselves bottlenecked on hole #2 backing up the course and making standing in the rain just that much more fun. But the Marshal rode to our rescue by hole #5, pushing the 5-some of very inexperienced golfers off the front nine to make way for our group to push through. It was then that the clouds began to part, opening the sky to the sun and bringing our race to victory in full motion. 

Hole 10. With a quick re-stock of drinking supplies, a towering tee box sits atop the sloped hillside overlooking the city of Spokane. Our medios went to task of finding distance and going Kinda Long while keepin it in the fairway. Hometown hero ALAN STEINOLFSON pokes one up the gut and takes home the drive of the day. 

Hole 11. A short par 3 nestled in the heart of the trees, a mere one hundred and ten yards separates our contenders from greatness at this years' Kinda Close. Divots were taken, the green was missed, and a nasty little group of overhanging branches prevented many from glory - until AARON MILES of Spokane, Washington found the sweet spot of the green to take this award down.

Our Back 9 continued to rage on with slight buzz's being reached and damp conditions giving way to collapses of epic proportions. After an impressive front 9 showing of 46, the back would knock one man down worse than any other giving Mr. Westside Pride EMBAY LEE a 10-stoke differential and a meltdown award to bring back with him. 

And without discrimination for either side, our very own CHRIS HELLMAN gives his middle finger to both sets of 9 holes at this golf club taking home a score of 109 finishing DFL and getting the key to the red tees at our next event. 

Cards in hand, we head to the clubhouse - each with anticipation to take home that coveted headgear of a Bastards Champion. In a moment of history that will live in MGA infamy, we crown chapter leader ANDY BUTLER with his 3rd Bastards win. 9 total penalty strokes, he brings back to the clubhouse a winning gross score of 82 for a net 91, and takes down what will forever be remembered as the Hat Trick, thrice victorious at this historical event with the likes of Faldo and Mickelson at their Augusta counterpart. 

It's so good to be with you again friends for this piece of the SpoMGA archives and look forward to next year's tradition. As for this year with the first major in the books, we look forward to seeing you at The MGA when the boys head to the Country Club in a rare Tuesday event showing. Get ready to tuck those shirts in, pack away the denim and keep those pinky's out down at Spokane's exclusive northern hideaway. 

-Jim Nance & AB 

Event Results

1.Andy Butler91$1.26
2.Nicholas Kovarik93$0.84
3.Ryan Reid94$0.67
3.Lance Hart94$0.67
5.Blake Miller96$0.53
5.Alan Steinolfson96$0.53
7.Taylor Reed97$0.35
7.Stephen Morgan97$0.35
7.David Chambless97$0.35
10.Matthew Ittner99$0.21
11.Zachery Ray101$0.11
11.Andrew Benson 101$0.11
13.Jon Dresback102$0.04
13.Embay Lee102$0.04
13.Scott Kaulig102$0.04
13.Aaron Miles102$0.04
17.Michael Ittner106$0.00
18.Chris Hellman 109$0.00