Chapter News

Asshole Puckers His Way to the Win

Dave Knowles is now running away from the pack as the Columbus Chapter top money winner in 2020. Dave, affectionately known as "Asshole" to his friends (Mr. Asshole to everyone else), won both first place net and the Gross Award at the 2020 Columbus Rebel Beach Am-Am tournament. I believe his new stated goal is to DQ the remaining events.

Rob McArthur sunk a 22-footer for birdie in dramatic fashion. The ball rolled delicately to the edge of the cup, paused for at least 10 seconds, then silently dropped. It was a beautiful thing.
For the rest of us, who actually play in the WTF-GA rather than the MGA: Jeff Gilligan added to his stockpile of red keys and Joe Faga (yours truly) won his first of likely many meltdown awards. 
Course report (aka "excuses"): Royal American appeared to have been ridden rough and put away  wet. Tee boxes were lumpy and patchy. 
Q: Rough or tee box?
A: A rough tee box
One of the few times I hit in the fairway it looked pretty burnt out. 
Q: Bentgrass or Burnt grass?
A: I got one in the fairway!
Fairway bunkers, well we knew they were unplayable.
Q: Fairway bunker or out of bounds?
A: Well, that's where my ball went. I took the penalty.
Other excuses heard at this event:
"I swung too hard"
"I didn’t swing hard enough"
"Too high"
"Too low"
"Greens are too slow"
"They're too fast"
"That’s not what I wanted to do"
"It was too humid"
At the WTF-GA end of the spectrum, I am, as always, a sponge soaking up the sage advice of those I play with. For example, here are my lessons from this event:
"That would be stupid"
"You could never putt that one too hard"
"That’s my first birdie putt opportunity. I’ll 3 Putt from there. " "It’s good to have a plan." 
At the awards ceremony, once Jeff calculated his and my score, he said, "You assholes gotta add up your fuckin' cards, ok?" Unfortunately, several players had to leave and the ceremony was lightly attended.  Tim Collins and Steven Baybutt were awarded the AM-AM trophies.

Event Results

1.David Knowles84$1.12
2.Timothy Collins85$0.74
3.Steven Baybutt86$0.62
4.Graydon Spanner88$0.56
5.Jason Strickland91$0.47
5.Matt Bigelow91$0.47
7.Robert McArthur92$0.37
8.Matt Keller93$0.28
8.Ben Reeb93$0.28
10.Jay Sutter95$0.16
10.Brett Ewing95$0.16
12.Steve Friday96$0.06
12.Jason Smelser96$0.06
14.John Young 100$0.04
14.Justin Kudela100$0.04
16.Gary Sutter101$0.02
17.Justin Scribner103$0.00
18.Corinne Bigelow104$0.00
19.Eric Heberle106$0.00
20.Patrick Affourtit112$0.00
21.Fredrick Miller114$0.00
22.Joe Faga118$0.00
23.Justin Duffie121$0.00
24.Jeff Gilligan126$0.00