And the Douchebag is...

Let's begin with the start time.  Who the fuck scheduled this tournament so damn early?  And why couldn't any of us count to 15?  As we attempted to tee off, the starter harassed our collection of athletes, demanding that a sixteenth member hadn't paid.  In his defense, I didn't exactly tell him we were a group of 15 but hey, it's MGA!

Many balls were lost, a bear was sighted, old farts (non MGA of course) complained about driving the carts over their precious grass and lots of turf was displaced.  Nothing was going to stop our group from having fun!  

We gathered at the 19th hole grill and shared our stories.  Again, the laughs were plentiful and the mood was light.  Murph was as gleeful as a child on Christmas morning when he found out no one beat him at Kinda Close.  Darryl did some Darryl shit and knocked a ball Kinda Long (Jan wasn't there to defeat him so this award comes with an asterisk).  My playing partner Gene, who nearly took out your chapter leader with a wild shot from about 30 feet away, took home the Meltdown Award (and came close to being charged with involuntary manslaughter).  Matt Barnes, fresh from his amazing Alaska excursion, was the Most Mediocre.  And playing in his first tournament of the year, Alex made his triumphant return to our group...and won the Red Key!

So who would walk away as the Douchebag for 2023?  In a redemption story that rivals that of Tiger Woods himself, Burton Ray came out and took the neon green visor by force.  After losing in last month's "dart off" for the Red Key, we celebrate Burton for the comeback of the season!  Worst to First never looked so good.  Now get ready to hit some of those duffers from the back tees next month, Champ!  

Yours Truly,

Tommy Seijo