Chapter News

ALL OF THE EVERHARTS ARE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EARLYWINE GOLF LINKS, OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA – Back in the very early 1900s, when he was just a young boy fixing wagon wheels in Marion, Indiana, Phil Everhart used to gaze southwest and wonder what was out there for him. Squinting against the setting sun, he felt an inexplicable tug on the very fiber of his being. He had a personal destiny laying somewhere out there and an insatiable desire to go out there and find it…

Innumerable decades later, on Sunday, May 18, 2014 at the Lincoln Park East Course, Phil Everhart thought that he had fulfilled his lifelong destiny by becoming a Bastards Champion. Little did he know, that a greater glory await him less than two years later…the un-quantifiable joy of a Father’s Pride 

In a result so shocking and astonishing that it has taken your humble author almost three months to wrap his mind around it and get around to cogently summarizing the OKC MGA’s first Major of the year, a Tradition kinda-unlike any other, when the apple of Phil’s eye and the product of his loins, his son Scott, went out and shot a sparkling net 86 to remove any and all benefit of the doubt that ALL OF THE EVERHARTS ARE BASTARDS!

Scott’s remarkable performance, good enough to also win the Gross Award, robbed Billy Lane of the big check, but did nothing to diminish the luster from the round-of-his-life, as Lane went out and shot an 87 to fall one stroke short of Everhart the Younger Bastard and finish in solo-2nd

Michael Denham shot a very nice net 89, to finish in 3rd place and take home 7 dimes. 

Wally Sanchez came into the clubhouse nipping at his heels with a net 90, to finish solo-4th and bank $0.63. 

2015 Chapter Money List Winner, Michael Yannarell continued his strong play and positioned himself nicely with a net 91 and more than half-a-dollar check to round out the Top-5. 

Robert Whetstone also performed nicely, shooting a tidy net 93 to finish 6th and take home a check for a penny short of a half-dollar. 

Derek Oswald shot a very nice net 94, taking home 7th and 42 pennies. 

Overwhelmed with pride (and perhaps a bit of arthritis), Phil “The Old Bastard” Everhart and newcomer Mark Eulberg carded net 95s to tie for 8th place and take home $0.32. Eulberg also snatched up the Closest to the Pin award.  

Dean Lyman rounded out the Top-10 and those keeping it under Triple Digits with his net 98 and a solo-10th place finish. He also smashed the longest bomb of the day to take home the bumper sticker informing everyone he is Kinda Long. 

Ted Hans continued his run of inconsistent play and choking away any shot at a decent payday when he carded a 101 to take 11th place. 

Ian Colgan carded a 102 to take down solo-12th and a check for 7 pennies. 

Matthew “Where the Fuck is my new Bathroom Reading, Ted?!? I’m sick of reading about Kas’ win in April!!!” Clark shot a net 103 and cashed a kinda big check for $0.06

2016 Am/Am Champ and rapid riser Kas Smith was unable to keep up his momentum and struggled playing from the back tees, coming home with a 104 and a nickel. 

James Lichliter struggled mightily by shooting a net 107, finishing 15th and putting 4 cents in his pocket. 

Sterling Butler rounded out those receiving checks with his 108, good enough for solo 16th and a cash, albeit for only 2 pennies. 

Stay tuned for more exciting articles from the OKC MGA, as we have had another 3 events that have thus far gone un-memorialized in written form by your negligent and overworked Chapter Leader.