Every chapter holds each of these events at some point during the assigned month. Listed below are the month, name, total purse amount and a brief description for each tournament. Some chapters will have 35 players, some will have 5, but all will have bad golf and good times.

March - Rebel Beach Am-Am
Purse: $6.20
The Am-Am is a two-man team event. Medios should pick a partner in the weeks leading up to the event and tell their Chapter Leader who their teammate is. Team uniforms are strongly encouraged. The team with the lowest total score will win the two-headed trophies, featuring one head focusing on a putt, while the other chugs a beer. The "money" prizes will still be awarded based on individual scoring in the tournament, so the overall winner will receive the big check. The last thing any medio wants to do is ruin his friend’s entire season, and perhaps his chance at the World Championship, with his terrible play.
April - The Bastards
Purse: $7.00
Steeped in tradition, The Bastards is the most important tournament in the history of the MGA. The MGA was launched in 2006 with the first edition of this tournament and it has remained the most significant tournament ever since. As the first major of the year, pressure is high for those players hoping to complete the Mrand Slam by winning all four majors. The winner of The Bastards receives the coveted blue trucker cap and a spot in the history and lore of the MGA.
May - The MGA
Purse: $7.50
The MGA Championship moved from August to May in 2019, mirroring the schedule shakeup of that "other tour". Probably a desperate attempt to make people give a shit about the least interesting major by cramming it in between all the good ones, but whatever, we'll roll with it. During the 2019 offseason, El Presidente thought long and hard about how to make the MGA trophy something special. He's pretty sure he nailed it with the new bling and expects to see some serious braggin by anyone who is lucky enough to rock this ice.
June - F.U. Open
Purse: $7.50
The Freedom and Unity Open is the most patriotic of all MGA events. Red, white and blue come standard with this tournament and patriotic clothing is all but mandatory. Eagles, while all-but-extinct on a golf course full of mediocre players, will always feature heavily in this tournament's trophy. El Presidente finally created a custom trophy for this special event in 2020 and damn did it turn out nice.
July - Bratish Open
Purse: $7.00
The home of golf is celebrated with this tongue-in-cheek event. Traditionally played on a links style course if one can be found in town and in budget. The winner of this event is presented with one of the finest golf trophies ever made... The Claret Juggs.
August - FORE! Championship
Purse: $9.50
The FORE! Championship moved from May to August in 2019. The massive purse is sure to shake up some Chapter Money Lists late in the season, crushing the dreams of some while providing Miracle on Ice-esque moments for others. It remains the biggest purse of the year outside of the MGA World Championship.
September - Douche Bag Invitational
Purse: $7.50
The majors are over and you will have to wait until next year to become a major champion. But that’s no reason not to tell all the chicks in the bar that you’re a major champ anyway, while doing Jaeger shots and talking about how much money you made last year. Welcome to the Douche Bag Invitational! Everyone’s interpretation of a douche bag varies, so show us what you think one looks like by dressing up as him. Don’t worry about offending someone, because you probably will no matter what you wear. The winner of this event gets an embroidered visor, up-side-down naturally, because that’s how douche bags wear them. The logo depicts a knot of one dollar bills with a twenty wrapped around the outside.... douche.
October - The Last Gasp
Purse: $6.20
The final regular season event is your last chance to qualify for the MGA World Championships. Pull out all the stops and go for the win. It’s the last tournament of the year, can’t hold anything back now (because that's why you've been losing all this time right?).
November - The Mediocre Golf World Championship
Purse: $10.10
The MGAWC is held every year in early November. The MGA books a block of rooms and a golf course in Vegas and then just sits back and watches as the chaos ensues. The Championship Belt is a traveling trophy that the new champion gets to keep for one glorious year. The only requirement of the new Champion is that he wears The Belt out on the strip for the small, classy celebration party that follows the tournament…
November - Born Hairy Tour Championship
Purse: $0.00
Created in 2019, after the MGAWC main event sold out in four hours, The Born Hairy Tour Championship is a seperate event in Vegas on MGAWC Weekend. Any player who doesn't qualify for the World Championship is welcome to play in the BHTC. While they wont be competing for The Belt, they will be playing for something very important in their future quest for The Belt. That's because the Top 16 finishers in the Born Hairy win a qualified spot at the following years WC! So no matter how much they suck the following year, as long as they play in 3 events to become eligible, they'll be in the Big Show in Vegas!