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MGA Enters Week Two Of Tense Standoff With MBA Over Article Responsibilities

ARTICLE RESPONSIBILITY WAS THE NUMBER ONE ISSUE DISCUSSED AT THE RECENT SUMMIT. NOW NEITHER LEADER IS WILLING TO BUDGE, INSISTING THE OTHER AGREED TO WRITE THE ARTICLE ABOUT THE FIRST EVER MEETING BETWEEN THE TWO LEAGUES.

LAS VEGAS, NV - After what was viewed as a hugely successfull first summit between the Mediocre Golf Association and the Mediocre Bowling Association, things have unfortunately taken a turn for the worse in recent days. Both leaders have fully reclined in their Lay-Z-Boys and are refusing to sit up to write the article about the first ever MGA/MBA Golf & Bowling Shootout Spectacular. It's a damn shame too, because last weekend's event was a hell of a good time.

If either of these punks would just take the time to string a few words together, they'd tell you about how two teams of four from each league met at Punk Rock Bowling to see who was the kinda alrightest at mediocre leisure sports. They'd fascinate you by telling you all about the format, which was basically a two-round championship, with round one being a game of bowling and round two a game of Top Golf.

The storyteller would be a fool not to mention the venue for the bowling competition, the Silver Nugget; which you probably think you've heard of before, but I can assure you, you haven't... This "classic" casino/bowling alley/petri dish had the cheapest drinks around and some impressive live entertainment. It also had the surliest bowling alley supervisor west of the Mississippi, who may or may not have been holding a polite young man prisoner behind the counter.

If one of the founders could only carve out 20 minutes, you'd hear about how the MBA team took a strong lead after round one, with Kris Somethingorother taking a dramatic 10th frame comeback win over El Presidente to score the W and collect 10 Championship points. (The author would also inform you that the winner of each round got 10 points, 2nd got 8, 3rd-6, 4th-5, 5th-4, 6th-3, 7th-2, DFL-1)

ROUND 1

MBA 24 points - Kris 10 / Hillary 6 / Dan 5 / Joabi 3

MGA 15 points - Jon 8 / Todd 4 / Kiki 2 / Pat 1

Your author, should he make it this far in his effort to recount this monumental event, would describe how the golfing went for the MBA players using only this GIF.

The author would probably mention that it was a bit unfair to expect bowlers to be able to swing golf clubs, but no one expected the bloodbath that took place once the players reached Top Golf.

Valiant efforts were made by the MBA players and many solid shots were in fact hit during the course of competition. Unfortunately though, they were overmatched by the extremely consistent mediocrity the MGA contingent. At the end of the round, King Kris from the MBA once again finished at the top of the list... for the MBA players... in 5th overall.

ROUND 2

MBA 10 points - Kris 4 / Joabi 3 / Dan 2 / Hillary 1

MGA 29 points - Todd 10 / Jon 8 / Pat 6 / Kiki 5

After spending what turned out to be far more than 20 minutes on the article, one would hope your author would finish strong and give you the final standings and leave you with a warm and fuzzy feeling about the whole thing. Here are those standings.

TEAM COMPETITION

MGA - 44 points

MBA - 34 points

 

INDIVIDUAL POINTS EARNED

El Presidente (G) - 16

Kris (B) - 14

Todd (G) - 14

Dan (B) - 7

Kiki (G) - 7

Hillary (B) - 7

Pat (G) - 7

Joabi (B) - 6

 

Well all we can do it hope that eventually the guilt will get to either El Presidente or Czar Derwin and we'll see a proper write up for this event. But whether that happens or not, I think it's safe to say that a new tradition started last weekend. It took a while to happen, but when the two groups finally met it was a match made in mediocrity.

 

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Comments

I kinda see what you might have done there

I put up far more points than that at top golf, I was by far the best player in the building. Total bullshit